Jesse Walters

The Church Next Door: My Cult Experience and How I Got Out While Staying Close to God

Tag: Problem

I’m Just Along for the Ride

I first want to apologize to all of my followers out there.  It has been nearly a month since my last post and I don’t mean to leave you all hanging.  I truly appreciate your support and can’t thank you enough for it.

The reason I have slacked in the blogging world lately is because of this overwhelming sensation I’ve had for what has been going on for little over a month now, yet seems like years.  As I get older I’m becoming more convinced that our lives are like algorithms… or at least mine is.  I have felt like I’ve been on top of the world at times, and others felt like I was at the bottom.  There have been times where I felt like I was doing nothing in this life and others where I was so overwhelmed with everything that was going on.  And it’s not like one thing will happen and bring me up or down, everything comes crashing in at one time.

I wonder why that is?

I’m a believer in that everything happens or a reason; that God has this big plan for me and I’m just along for the ride.  So why is He throwing everything at me at once?  Why can’t he just give me one thing, let me adapt, and then give me another?  It would be so much easier that way!

Unfortunately, we just can’t control things in our lives sometimes, and when we try to it usually ends in disaster.

When I was 20 years old God really tested me.  Within a four week period I had 1. Moved out of my parent’s house for this first time. 2. Broke up with my girlfriend of over three years. 3. Started attending a college where I didn’t know anyone.  4. Started a new job.  And on top of all of that I was going through depression and numerous religious struggles while a part of a cult that I talk about in my book.  I was overwhelmed beyond belief!

I tried to take control.  I told myself over and over that I could fix it but I couldn’t.  I had to give in to God.  I had to let the Big Plan take its course, and it did.  It all worked out.  I came out of there happier than ever and closer to my friends and family that I thought I’d ever be.

I fell into that trap again (on a smaller scale thank God) with more recent factors that came into my life.  I tried to control it but then I though back on when I was 20.  I just have to let it go and stop worrying.  Let God take control.  I’m just along for the ride.

The Benefits of Failure

Life is hard, so hard that no one in the history of mankind has perfected it and never will.  That sounds scary.  It’s like God set us up to fail.  I’m a perfectionist at heart and accepting failure is a daunting task.  I want it done right, right now, and failure doesn’t allow me to have that.  Continue reading

My God-Given Mission

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“Throughout the day I would take breaks in between class and sit in my car to release my emotions, either through crying, screaming at the top of my lungs in anger, or singing (sometimes all at once) until my voice would be gone.”

This is the first time I’ve publicly displayed this dramatic experience my family and I went through.  In fact, his is the first blog I’ve ever written.

Four Years. Continue reading

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