Jesse Walters

The Church Next Door: My Cult Experience and How I Got Out While Staying Close to God

Tag: anxiety (page 1 of 2)

I’m Just Along for the Ride

I first want to apologize to all of my followers out there.  It has been nearly a month since my last post and I don’t mean to leave you all hanging.  I truly appreciate your support and can’t thank you enough for it.

The reason I have slacked in the blogging world lately is because of this overwhelming sensation I’ve had for what has been going on for little over a month now, yet seems like years.  As I get older I’m becoming more convinced that our lives are like algorithms… or at least mine is.  I have felt like I’ve been on top of the world at times, and others felt like I was at the bottom.  There have been times where I felt like I was doing nothing in this life and others where I was so overwhelmed with everything that was going on.  And it’s not like one thing will happen and bring me up or down, everything comes crashing in at one time.

I wonder why that is?

I’m a believer in that everything happens or a reason; that God has this big plan for me and I’m just along for the ride.  So why is He throwing everything at me at once?  Why can’t he just give me one thing, let me adapt, and then give me another?  It would be so much easier that way!

Unfortunately, we just can’t control things in our lives sometimes, and when we try to it usually ends in disaster.

When I was 20 years old God really tested me.  Within a four week period I had 1. Moved out of my parent’s house for this first time. 2. Broke up with my girlfriend of over three years. 3. Started attending a college where I didn’t know anyone.  4. Started a new job.  And on top of all of that I was going through depression and numerous religious struggles while a part of a cult that I talk about in my book.  I was overwhelmed beyond belief!

I tried to take control.  I told myself over and over that I could fix it but I couldn’t.  I had to give in to God.  I had to let the Big Plan take its course, and it did.  It all worked out.  I came out of there happier than ever and closer to my friends and family that I thought I’d ever be.

I fell into that trap again (on a smaller scale thank God) with more recent factors that came into my life.  I tried to control it but then I though back on when I was 20.  I just have to let it go and stop worrying.  Let God take control.  I’m just along for the ride.

The Difference Between You and Me

When leaving my old church and getting out of that dreadful cult experience, I grew very anxious and worried about fitting in.  If you look back on my previous blog posts I talk about the constant feeling of no one knowing who I really am.  Yeah, I could meet new people, say who I am, where I’m from and what I do, but no one REALLY knew who I was until they hear my storyContinue reading

Let There Be Silence!

One of the biggest struggles I had to deal with while I was in my religious cult and the recovery process after was my social insecurities.  I’m an introvert by nature so that didn’t help the situation either, but that church forced me to not want to talk to the “outside world,” which included my family and childhood friends.  It also became clear to me that after my awesome experience in Denver a lot of others with similar cult experiences to mine struggle with it. Continue reading

The One Decision You NEED to Make

“Play is a state of mind.  The world is your playground, people are your playmates, and your work is a game… You don’t need more free time.  You don’t need more money.  You can change the world when you change how you see it.  It’s only a choice.”- Charlie Hoehn

Continue reading

The Hidden Value of Memories

I have an ongoing conversation with a good friend of mine via email.  We live far apart but talk once a week about various things.  While it’s a great way to stay in touch I’ve also learned a lot about myself through it all.  Below is a little excerpt from one of my emails a couple months ago… Continue reading

Secrets Don’t Make Friends

This post overlaps with last week’s post but I felt the need to expand on it a little more.

It’s been over four years now since I left the church that brought so much pain, depression, guilt and anxiety into my own and my family’s lives.  It was one of the most significant moments of my life yet, I didn’t actually start telling people about it until long after that.  Continue reading

Stress Management

I read this blurb online recently and thought I’d share it with you:

A young lady confidently walked around the room with a raised glass of water while leading a seminar and explaining stress management to her audience. Everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, ‘Half empty or half full?’ She fooled them all. “How heavy is this glass of water?” she inquired with a smile. Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. To 20 oz. Continue reading

IT IS HERE!!!

The moment you’ve all been waiting for!  Well…. it’s at least the moment I’ve been waiting for.   Continue reading

The Church Next Door Preview!!!

The Church Next Door will be available to buy on Amazon within days!  Here’s the first chapter of the book to help with the wait. Continue reading

9 Signs You’re In a Cult

Below are nine teachings I experienced while attending a church that I now call a cult.  If you think you or a loved one is in a cult, check into my book, The Church Next Door, and also feel free to contact me.

Please consider the following while reading: Continue reading

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